This is Jesse chiming in for a rare blog. No, its not because Julie is in hospital stirrups pushing our baby out. But rather this morning had a story worth my time to write and tell everyone, and I wanted you to be able to see this from my perspective. So this morning was eventful for sure. Be warned. Though this story is humorous, it is not for the weak. But first, feel free to interpret the sketch below. ……
I was trying to get showered and shaved this morning before running some errands. (Ironically, Renae is doing the potty-training thing lately and so Julie’s and my radars are on high alert to deter any “accidents.”) While amidst shaving my backwoodsman beard, I hear Renae come trotting in to the bathroom saying, “wipe please.” She didn’t appear to be wet at all. That was the problem.
She had a couple nuggets (non-chicken kind) in her underwear and it was grossing her out (she wasn’t alone on that one!). I helped her out of her underwear and sat her on the potty chair – while I still had a half foam-beard from the shaving cream. Renae kinda freaks out at poop. Julie does too.
When Julie came to flush Renae’s creation, it was apparently an overwhelming odor for her and she started to gag. Meanwhile, Renae made herself gag when she smelled her own poo being flushed away.
(It doesn’t stop here … this is a downward spiral.)
In the chaotic moment, Renae threw up on the floor. Julie couldn’t contain her gag-reflex, and decided to share in the moment with our daughter. It was an orchestra nobody wishes to compose. (Here enters the wind-section.) Julie rushes to lean over the shower in time to not cover the entire floor with her … “contribution” and there, she camps out for a minute or two.
(Jesse is currently finding cleaning supplies and mop.)
Renae is scared and decides to cling to Julie’s leg while she is bracing herself against the tub. Seeing Julie gag/puke, sets Renae into round #2 with her own bout of “odors/visuals vs. gag reflex.” (So far, its: Odors=2, Females=0.) Our daughter puked a little more while supporting herself on Julie’s leg. This picture would be priceless if the camera was handy. My wife doubled over the tub, and my daughter huddled around my wife’s knee. Both puking and gagging. This all caused Julie to finish the episode with a few more hurls. (MTV’s “Fabulous Life” can move over, because it can’t compare with my riches in the “for better or for worse” lifestyle.)
So it was my turn to finally enter (stage right if you will) with my paper towels, cleaning chemicals, and a mop in hand. While my two girls were in the shower (after it was cleaned) and washing up, I gathered clothes for the wash, grabbed chunks off the floor (with as many layers of paper towels between my fingers as possible), and then proceeded to mop the bathroom floor. I never imagined that I would be the strong-stomached one in my family.
Everyone is now fine. Julie chalked it up to being pregnant. I finished shaving. Renae is still poop-training … hopefully with no more repeats like this morning. (Final outcome: Odors=4, Females=0.) Have a good day everyone. I’m sure it did not start off worse than this (I hope).