Today Mommy is letting me do the writing. She may regret her decision later.
Today I did lots of things. First I woke up at 5:00 a.m. I slept for a really long time last night because I'm learning that sleeping is a fun thing. I close my eyes and dream about faces and other baby things. Somewhere in there I poop my pants and when I wake up Mom changes them for me. Seriously-sleep is a pretty good deal for me. For some reason Daddy usually doesn't change me when I've filled up my pants. I'm not sure if he is scared of me or what but I think it's giving me a complex. I'm not sure what that word means but I hear Mommy whispering stuff like that to me when Daddy is away. I just spit up. That's nasty.
Anyway, after I woke up today I was pretty happy. I chilled for awhile with Daddy (he sure does love holding me after Mom changes my diaper-I think his love is conditional.) Then Mom had a great idea to go for a walk. Dad said maybe we shouldn't because it was kind of cold this morning. But they ended up doing it anyway. They wrapped me up burrito style, shoved an itchy hat on me, and placed me in my car seat. I'm not a fan of my car seat. Sometimes I think Mom and Dad are downright evil when they put me in there. So I let them know by screaming as loud as I can. I throw out a few punches too. Yeah-that will show them. Oops, I just spit up again. Will someone come wipe that up for me?
So we go for a walk and I learn that Daddy is brilliant. A genius in fact. He should be a weather man because it WAS cold outside. I wanted to show them how brave I was but when they got really far away from home I decided then was a good time to let them know what I really thought. So I screamed for a long time. Eventually Mom gave me my pacifier and I decided I could hack it the rest of the way home. I'm so brave. They should give me a Blue Pacifier.
The rest of the morning and afternoon I pooped some more and again Mommy changed me. Then I don't remember a whole lot because I slept for awhile. Every once in awhile I would wake up and see what looked like Wal-Mart and a coffee shop. Huh. I guess Mom and Dad wanted to spend time together or something like that. Aren't I more fun? I felt jealous so to get their attention I spit up some more. They both called me a turd. But 5 minutes later they told me how cute I was. I really think I am going to develop a complex.
Tonight Mommy brought me to Nana's house so she could wash some clothes. When Mom put me in the car seat I felt I needed to remind her again of how much I hate that thing. So for a long time I did my best screaming act ever. I even threw in a red face for a stronger effect. She just smiled at me and hauled me out to the car. I gave up crying after awhile because riding in the car is pretty sweet. Sometimes I pretend I'm J-Lo and my chauffeur is driving me to my next club appearance. Then I spit up and remember that I'm just a pretty cool, cute little girl who is loved lots by her equally cool Mom and Dad. Life is pretty good . . .